


Is Ruining the Kitchen Tax Deductible?

by Anonymous



Series: Reddie Oneshots & AU Fics [5]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), Reddie - Fandom
Genre: Blow Jobs, Competency Kink, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Kitchen Sex, M/M, Oral Sex, Taxes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:35:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28741848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Richie Tozier can be a bit of a man child sometimes.It’s endearing, the way he lights up at a stupid action figure online or the way he gasps at a new Pringles flavor in the store. Even the disgusting jokes he tells (which Eddie lies and says are not funny) are charming in a weird way. Except for maybe the ones about Eddie’s mother.Richie is well in touch with his childlike antics. But is also a full-blown adult.Or, Eddie has a competency kink and Richie knows how to do his taxes.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Reddie - Relationship
Series: Reddie Oneshots & AU Fics [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2021668
Comments: 23
Kudos: 200
Collections: Clowntown Kink Meme 2021





	Is Ruining the Kitchen Tax Deductible?

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [clowntown2021](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/clowntown2021) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Eddie has a competency kink and Richie knows how to do his taxes. Eddie blows Richie in the kitchen.
> 
> I don't know shit about taxes but I hope this does justice!

Richie Tozier can be a bit of a man child sometimes.

He sometimes forgets to put the milk back into the fridge, which drives Eddie absolutely insane. He sometimes leaves food on forks when he washes the dishes. He sometimes forgets to take his hair out of the shower drain, and sometimes he’ll forget to drain the bathwater. He uses three in one shampoo/body wash and he thinks that flossing is a waste of time. He sucks at shaving and he wears two different socks on his feet. There are days where he will come back from the grocery store with more candy and ice cream than there is room for in the kitchen, despite Eddie writing a detailed list of items for him to pick up. Candy is never on that list, but alas, he can’t deny Richie’s immature side.

It’s endearing, the way he lights up at a stupid action figure online or the way he gasps at a new Pringles flavor in the store. Even the disgusting jokes he tells (which Eddie lies and says are not funny) are charming in a weird way. Except for maybe the ones about Eddie’s mother.

Richie is well in touch with his childlike antics. But is also a full-blown adult. 

When Eddie first saw him at the Jade of the Orient it was a strange experience, to say the least. He’d remembered Richie as a gangly kid with skinny arms and legs, thick broken glasses, braces, and dark hair that was never combed properly. And god forbid he’d wear anything that wasn’t neon, aggressively patterned, and just plain offensive to the eyes. 

But when he turned around to see forty-year-old Richie Tozier, he quite literally was at a loss for words. He was tall, he always was, but he was tall-tall. His shoulders were broad and his torso was thick and meaty, practically popping through his shirt (which was still offensive to the eyes) along with his massive arms. He was big in all of the right places, and Eddie couldn’t stop looking him up and down. For the entirety of that dinner, before shit hit the fan at least, he was hyper fixated on Richie’s big hands and sharp jawline, peppered with stubbled. 

He was a full man, his personality the same but his physique put more together. His hair was somewhat tame despite the wild curls that hovered above the thick frames he still sported. 

When Eddie moved in with him after everything, he only noticed more and more about how he’d grown up. Richie was smart, and he was capable of many talents. Richie a natural, like he always was, and he was extremely competent when it came to adult things. He could clean up after himself fairly well, keeping on top of his laundry and helping Eddie out with other cleaning chores. He was also a fantastic cook and he could fix things around the house, things that Eddie was fairly new at seeing as he’d always had people to do that stuff for him.

Throughout his life, his mother and Myra had taken care of most of the house chores and cooking while he was in the office making the bulk of the money. And when something was broken, they paid someone else to come fix it. But living with Richie was a whole new experience. He was capable of a lot more than Eddie had given him credit for, which he felt bad about in hindsight. 

He was better than Myra in so many ways that it wasn’t even fair to compare the two. But he found himself doing it by accident, especially after they crossed into the romantic territory of their relationship. Everything was better with Richie: the sex, the food, the laughter, life in general. It was frustrating for him at times though, seeing Richie be good at everything he did.

One thing Eddie was  _ always _ better at in his previous relationships was taxes. He was a numbers guy and Myra hadn’t the slightest clue about filing federal or state taxes, so he did it for her just like he began doing his mother’s during her last few years. It’s why he was so baffled when he padded into the kitchen one morning to find Richie sorting through a bunch of papers with a pen tucked carefully behind his ear.

“You’re doing  _ what? _ ” He asked, folding his arms.

“Taxes?” Richie raised an eyebrow at him, dropping an envelope onto the table so he could take a long sip of coffee before standing up to greet him. “You ever heard of taxes?”

“Yeah dick, I’ve heard of taxes.” He mumbled, leaning into Richie’s usually forehead kiss before lifting his head to receive his secondary lip peck. “You’re doing them now?”

“I like to get them done bright and early, helps me stimulate my mind for the day, ya know?”

“No- what? I meant why  _ now. _ ” He laughed. “Tax day is in April, you have plenty of time.”

“I know when tax day is baby.” He smirked, snaking his arms around his waist to tug him close. “Us celebs have to do things a little differently.”

“Oh yeah?” He snorted, bumping his head against Richie’s shoulder. “Enlighten me then mister hotshot.”

“Well my love, I don’t know if you know this but a lot of celebrities form what's called a "loan-out", which is what I did. Basically it just means that I am an employee of the loan-out corporation and that company loans out my services to the movie studio or record label that I’m working for.”

Eddie had heard of a loan out, but he didn’t know the logistics or that it required a different method of filing taxes. He pretended to be interested in the numbers aspect, but what was  _ really _ doing it for him was how educated Richie was on the topic. He swallowed hard, picking his head up to watch Richie as he spoke. “So, how does that benefit you?

“Well, it has advantages on both sides. If you're a production company that hires a celebrity to act, they aren't your employee and you aren't responsible for any of the payroll taxes for what in some cases can be millions of dollars in compensation for just one person. The loan-out is responsible because the celeb is their employee.” He let go of Eddie to grab one of the papers off of the table. He lifted it up so Eddie could see, pointing to a few filled in sections. “For me, it does a few things. First, I can deduct expenses related to the business, which can be a lot of money. I can also select what my fiscal year is. We typically pay taxes on earnings from January to December each year. A company can select a different day to start and end the fiscal year though which could defer some of their taxes. So, if I were doing a movie or show and I was going to get paid on December 1st for my next role, I would have to pay taxes on that by April of the next year. But, if I am paid through a loan-out corporation where the fiscal year ends November 30th, I can defer those taxes for longer. And also, if I were to break a contract with a studio or production team somehow and get sued, my personal assets would be protected because they would have to sue the loan-out corporation and could only collect on those assets. My personal assets outside of the loan out would have legal protection in a way they would not if I were personally being sued. Hey, are you even listening to me-”

No, he wasn’t even in the slightest. It didn’t matter, because Eddie’s quick movements had him caught off guard. Richie may have been been a big guy, but Eddie was strong and feisty. He had him backed against the counter in the blink of an eye, the paper fluttering out of Richie’s hands and onto the floor. He wasn’t sure what came over him, but Eddie had the sudden urge to drop to his knees, so he did. 

Embarrassingly enough, this was not the first time he’d gotten hard from watching Richie be an adult. Hell, every time Richie cooked a meal or cleaned even the slightest bit, it was over for him. Richie’s breathing stuttered as his hands clawed at his sweatpants, tugging them down in desperation. “Woah, what’s gotten into you Eds?”

They were still relatively clumsy when it came to sex, and Eddie hardly ever initiated. He certainly never thought he’d be willing to initiate in their  _ kitchen _ where they ate. But the cool tiles against his knees made him realize what they were doing, and it sent a thrill through him. “You just- you know how to do shit!” He didn’t mean to sound so frustrated, but Richie’s baffled face was worth it.

“Well… I’m an adult.” He choked out, jaw tightening when Eddie finally got his pants down low enough on his thighs to tease the front of his boxers.

“But you’re like… good at it and smart?” 

“Should I be offended right now?” He let out a breathy laugh, gripping the sides of the counter as his hips chased his light touches.

“I’m literally about to put my mouth on your dick, you decide.”

Richie was aware that Eddie has some sort of competency kink. He liked watching him work, listening intently on business calls because he liked it when Richie was professional and bossy. He also lost it when Richie would fix things around the house whether it be plumping or some sort of obscure carpentry that he could figure out. They’d joked about it before, how Eddie was sapiosexual. He was attracted to Richie’s emotional and logical intelligence, which was maybe another reason he found his past partner so unattractive. But again, it was unfair to compare anyone to Richie.

Eddie took his time pumping Richie in his hand, looking up at him through lidded eyes before slowly taking him into his mouth. They’d only done it a few times, but Eddie had already grown more confident in his blowjobs skills, knowing how to drive him crazy with short little licks first before taking him into his mouth fully.

“I can’t believe you got turned on by taxes, who even are you?” Richie grunted, bringing a hand up to pet gently at his hair, breathing heavily as Eddie worked him deeper into his mouth.

“Sorry that it’s sexy to watch you be so competent.” Eddie popped off with a deep breath. He firmly stroked the parts of him that he couldn’t reach, paying special attention to his head like he knew he loved.

“Just you wait till you see me tie my shoes.” 

Eddie pulled away quickly before he could gag on his own laughter. “Don’t make me laugh while your dick is in my mouth!” 

“Sorry!” He exhaled, not sounding sorry at all. “I love making you laugh though.” 

Eddie licked sloppily over the slit as revenge, making his hips buck forward. “More than you love me sucking you off?” 

“Yeah, kind of.” 

Eddie glared at him from the floor, slowing down his hand. “Wow. Should  _ I _ be offended now?” 

“No, no. This- this is good too. Fuck-” He hissed when Eddie took him back into his mouth, deep towards the back of his throat. “You’re just so gorgeous when you laugh. But damn you look so good down there too. Please don’t stop.”

Eddie bobbed his head a few times, no plans to stop until the job was done. He hummed at how sweet he sounded, concentrating hard on keeping his breathing steady as he relaxed his throat to feel him impossibly deep.

“Jesus baby.” Richie whimpered, giving his hair a light tug as his fingers fidgeted. 

Eddie pulled away, blinking away the glossiness clouding his vision. His jaw was starting to hurt, a dull ache that was making it a little uncomfortable to keep going but one that he would enjoy feeling later. “Fuck my mouth, Rich.”

Richie nodded quickly, releasing his hand from its tight grip on the counter so he could bury it into Eddie’s hair with his other hand. He pulled him back gently before guiding himself into his mouth, his loud groan echoing through the kitchen. “That’s it, honey. You like when I do shit for you? I’ll do whatever you need, I’ll cook and clean and do taxes and all that shit. You know how much I like taking care of you.”

Eddie has had bad experiences with people wanting to take care of him, but Richie was totally different. It wasn’t out of the need for control, it was out of pure love. And Eddie wanted to take care of him back. “I like taking care of you too.” He managed after a few desperate gulps of air, Richie kindly giving him a break to breathe. 

“You’re doing a damn good job.” He huffed, a tight smile on his face as he rocked back into his mouth, hips thrusting forward at a gentle yet hurried pace. “I’m really close baby.” 

Eddie hummed around him in acknowledgment, whining high in his throat as he let him use his mouth. He was drunk on the thick weight of him on his tongue and the blunt push when he’d occasionally prod the back of his throat. Tears were threatening to spill over his eyelids, and Richie’s thumb came down to brush them away before tossing his head back. “Fuck, Eddie, fuck.” He shouted towards the ceiling, filling his mouth up.

Eddie calmly swallowed, something that they figured out together that he didn’t hate. Maybe it was all of the candy that Richie ate, that man child, that made him taste so sweet. Or maybe it was just because it was  _ Richie _ , and Eddie would do anything for him and enjoy it no matter how gross it was. He pulled back gently, feeling some excess cum dribble to the sides of his mouth.

“Holy shit.” Richie panted, fingers soothingly scratching his scalp as he continued to toy with his hair. “Taxes huh? Who knew? Best foreplay ever.”

“Shut. Up.” Eddie groaned, wiping the corners of his mouth before standing on wobbly legs, knees aching from the hard tiles. “I’m too fucking old to be on my knees.”

“Well, you looked breathtaking.” He placed a chef’s kiss to his fingers. “Ten out of ten.”

“Thanks coach.” He scoffed, wrinkling his nose when Richie tugged him in for a deep and dirty kiss. He never understood how Richie was so willing to lick into his mouth after he just blew him, but he never complained either.

“Here, we’ll go somewhere more comfortable old man. Let’s go take care of _you_ now.” Richie gestured to Eddie’s very prominent boner, wiggling his eyebrows. “I’m very competent in this department too, I know my way around a dick.  _ Your _ dick specifically-” 

“The more you talk, the more turned off I get.” 

It was a fat lie and they both knew it. Richie smirked at him, bending over to pick up the discarded tax form from the floor. “Want me to talk to you about taxes some more to get you going again?” 

“I hate you.” Another lie.

Richie stuck his tongue out, neatly placing the paper down with the other forms before tugging him out of the kitchen. “C’mon, I’ll tell you all about the tons of pages I’ve got in the aggregate.”

“I’ve created a monster…”

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry that this somehow turned into a mini-lesson on celebrity taxes but hey I hope you learned something new! (I know I did while doing some research)  
> Anyways, enjoy!! And as always, kudos and comments are always appreciated <3
> 
> If you enjoyed this work, you can find the rest of my prompts in the series below (also @imnotreddie) and you can find me on Twitter @ notreddie4this (:


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